That doesn’t mean you need to head to the confessional booth or even necessarily involve church leaders of any kind. The good news for believers on this journey? We have a secret weapon: confession. Men and women who struggle with porn from every walk of life describe powerful urges that draw them back to behaviors they wish they’d left behind and make them feel foolish, ashamed and defeated. This story originally appeared inside the July/August 2019 issue of ESSENCE.The road to freedom from porn is often long and difficult. Anything less feels like trying to hang a connect-the-dots picture on walls of the Met.” -N.S., 39 And now I only want to have sex that feels like art. He consciously and deliberately decided which part of my body to bite or caress next. As it turns out, the feel of warm water running down my hands has become a real turn-on.” -I.R., 43 We head to the bathroom-my favorite private place in the house-and turn the faucets on full blast to mask any noises. But every so often I have to let myself go. Now that our son is old enough to start asking a lot of awkward questions about all the noise, I’ve had to tone things down. I’m talking moaning, screaming, shouting, like something out of a dirty movie-but with love. “Before I had my son, sex with my husband was very vocal. It taught me that I was permitted to enjoy sex and orgasms how I wanted.” -K.D., 33 That experience allowed me to honor myself in a sex positive way. We spent the next few hours enjoying a sexual freedom that had not previously existed between us. He asked me if I was I sure as I started undressing in front of a crowd, and I kissed him to assure him I was. Although my partner was caught off-guard, he was completely turned on. I finished my drink and led my partner to a bed. I thought it was important to not wait for the experience to happen. During the ride there, we set two rules: Have fun and stay together. One day my partner sent me a link to a swinger’s club, and without much deliberation, we agreed to go. I always had an interest in the BDSM/kink but allowed ignorance, judgment and the idea of it’s not being a ‘Black thing’ to limit my desire to explore. “At age 30 I told myself that I was going to do all the things I wanted to do in life, including having great sex and fun sexual experiences. Romantic young couple standing on steps against wall at home The best part: no commitment or unrealistic expectations.” -J.H., 38 Slight hair pulling and dirty talking take place, and we do one or two rounds. He’s just the right size and knows how to leave me wanting more. He shows up at my door, and we get down to it. I put on something super lacy or just a silk robe. I usually leave first to minimize suspicion, since we’re both regulars. Exchanging glances and sending drinks to each other build the anticipation of what’s to come. We greet each other, then continue to mingle with our respective parties. If he’s there, I know how the rest of my night will play out. Typically, I’ll stop by my local bar, where my go-to guy drops in once or twice a week for drinks. “I’m a single mom in and out of the dating scene, which leaves so much to be desired and makes me wonder, Do I really want to be in a relationship? My solution is to have a booty call on reserve that I can trust. It allows me to get creative with different looks-makeup, wigs, lingerie and so on.” -J.M., 29 As a female boudoir photographer, I am able to keep it spicy and get it poppin’ with sexy photos that I send to my husband. We often incorporate toys into our sex life, and I orgasm every time. We have sex at least once a week, but multiple types of contact may span that one day-penetration, oral sex or partner masturbation. “My husband and I have a very communicative sex life and frequently discuss things that we like, don’t like and are open to trying. To motivate you to embrace your most sizzling summer yet, we asked readers of different ages to spill the tea on how they like to get down. In fact, as your body changes and ages, your erotic experiences may get deeper, more experimental, calmer, acrobatic, sweeter-whatever and however you like it without shame or apology as long as you remember that you alone have ownership over your sexual destiny. But what if there were no such thing as a sexual sell-by date? What if you could have and enjoy a fulfilling sex life whenever you choose? Forget about peaks-lovemaking can be exciting in your twenties, thirties, forties and beyond. Funny how the number changes depending on what they’re trying to sell you or who’s trying to slide into your DMs. When do women hit their sexual peak? The Internet and random dudes on Twitter will tell you it’s somewhere between the late twenties and 45.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |